Sunday, May 10, 2009

My Oh My

Oh my, has it been a day. The day started out promising. Got an IM from the hubby first thing this morning wishing me a happy mother's day which was a great was to start the day. Snuggle Bug had some breakfast and we played for a bit. When it came time for lunch I couldn't figure out why she wouldn't eat. She started crying and getting very upset and threw her food off the highchair. I got frustrated with her and then realized she was itching her arms. Boy did I feel like one crappy mommy, she had a puffy red rash down both her arms! It looked like she had gotten a couple of ant bites on her arm and they caused her eczema to react or something. Either way I was freaking out trying to figure out what I should do. I went ahead and gave her some benedryl and cuddled her until she stopped itching. She finished her lunch and then I put her down for a nap. Not too relaxing for me because I was checking on her every 10 minutes. So, since that happened I had to cancel my photo appointment just because I wanted to keep an eye on my Snuggle Bug.

Then the hubby called, which was great because I love hearing his voice. It makes me grin like I did when I first met him. We chatted for a bit and then we got to the good part... looks like i'm stuck in Kansas for a few more years. I've been desperately awaitng my chance to get out of here because this place has been less than kind to me. We even had the house on the market for a few months trying to sell it to get ready to move. So to get this news didn't particularly thrill me. So I spent a good portion of the day crying. I know it sounds silly and it probably is. I've just never felt so out of place in my life than how I do here. So tomorrow I'll call the realtor and take the house off the market and spend a few days coming to terms with a few more years here. Ya know, if I had honest friends and a life here it wouldn't be so bad. I'm not looking for anything amazing, just people I can trust because as it stands right now i'm lonely. It is a small town with nothing to do and no where to go so I feel trapped in box here. I know it'll be better once the hubby gets home but in this current moment I feel pretty darn hopeless. I just needed to rant for a moment.

So it is time to distract myself with my domestic duties. I've got tons of laundry waiting for me to fold it, dishes in the sink that need to be cleaned, clean dishes in the dishwasher that I need to unload and few other odds and ends that I should probably take care of.

Tomorrow is another day and i'm going to approach it with the hope of a positive outcome.

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